What is really important in life? What do people value more now a day’s, is it the high priced items with designer labels? Or is it the moments in our lives that are special to us? Both priced and the moments in life I value a lot. I think i value more the moments in life because spending time with friends and family makes great memories that you can keep with yourself forever. Like going to beach with your family and hanging out with friends. But I also value the priced items since you wouldn’t want to spend a lot of money on something that didn’t mean something to you.
It was in 5th grade when i got my first phone, i had that phone for about 2 years and got a new phone which was the iphone 3gs. When i got this phone it was so exciting to have gotten such an awesome phone. At that time the iphone 3gs was the newest iphone. But after a year of having that phone the new iphone 4 and the 4s came out. My iphone started to freeze and became really slow and also it did not have a front facing camera like the new iphone. So ever since the iphone 4s came out i was asking my dad to let me get the new iphone and i even was offering to pay for it myself. But he just wouldn’t let me and said it was a waste of money if i already had the iphone. After a long time of asking i just was gonna wait a little while to get a phone and wait for the new iphone 5 to be released.
After a long time of waiting, the iphone 5 finally came out in September. I was so excited and wanted to go to the mall right away to get it. But my dad still wanted me to wait to get it. I was getting annoyed on waiting so long but i knew it was gonna be worth it when i would finally get the phone. It was about 2 months after the phone was released when my dad finally decided to bring me to get the IPhone 5. The cost of my phone was $200 even though it was a lot of money to spend on a phone it was completely worth it.
It was so exciting to have finally gotten the iphone and use all the different features it had compared to my old IPhone 3gs. I loved the new design of the iphone with a larger screen and having it be thinner and lighter. i really enjoy taking pictures on my phone cause it has such nice quality.
I always enjoy hanging out with friends and making memories. Its always great to look forward to the weekend after a long week in school and be able to hang out with friends. My favorite things to do with my friends is go to the mall. Also I like going to Johnny's with them and going to see a movie after eating is always fun to do. I always have sleepovers with my friends, its always fun to hangout with them, make memories and just always laugh.
My iPhone and hanging out with friends are very different. My iPhone is just an electronic device and then hanging out with friends is more important than just some device. Spending time with friends is when I can make memories that I will keep with me forever and I couldn't live without them. With my iPhone it is something that I could live without.
I value my iPhone and spending time with my friends for different reasons. I value my iPhone because it was something that I waited a while to get and it costed a lot of money. I value spending time with friends because it always great to make great memories and have fun times with them.
It's not always high priced things that are valuable. It can be things that happen everyday like spending time with family and friends and creating memories. Even though I enjoy having my iPhone I would rather spend time with my family and friends.
1: I really like how you value your friends more than a phone. Thats really nice to hear.
ReplyDelete2: I like how you put a lot of deatil into your phone and say how it is lighter and thinner with a bigger screen. i could really imagine it in my head. "I loved the new design of the iphone with a larger screen and having it be thinner and lighter."
3: one strength in your essay is how you put so much detail in your phone and what you do with your friends when you hangout.
4: Try to add more similarities into the two items.
1. the author is trying to say she values her phone and hanging out with friends. she most strongly values hanging out with friends.
ReplyDelete2. i think the iPhone was best described. because she said "it was completely worth it."
3. the overall strength was the introduction because it was very descriptive.
4. i think you would like to make the hanging out with friends part a little longer.
1. You can tell that you really liked both, but you value your friends more than your iphone!
ReplyDelete2. You had a lot of details about your iphone and i could picture it all in my head.
3. One strength you put in your essay is that there was so much detail in everything you said.
4. Try to add more similarites and diffrences between the two objects & put a little more detail in your priceless item. Otherwise , really good job :)
1. Erica is trying to say that she reaally values both, but she would rather have friends than an iphone.
ReplyDelete2. i think that you most vividly described your memories with your friends. you had many details about it, you said that you always go to johnny's and then go to the movies with them.
3.something that you had a lot of strength in was describing how many good times you had with you friends and how much you love your new iphone.
4. you might want to put more activities you do with your friends, because its kinda short compared to the part about your iphone and you should add some similarities in it too.
1. She is saying that everything has value, and that she values her friends more than her iphone.
ReplyDelete2. you vividly described being at the mall with friends ~ " Also I like going to Johnny's with them and going to see a movie after eating is always fun to do. I always have sleepovers with my friends, its always fun to hangout with them, make memories and just always laugh."
3.Your word choice and intro was well done
4. have you considered describing more activities or added in memories of your friends that are unforgettable
1- the author is trying to say that a lot of things have value but that she values her friends more than her iphone.
ReplyDelete2-I think that the author really vivdly described being with her friends at the mall " i always enjoy hanging out with friends and making memories. Its always great to look forward to the weekend after a long week in school and be able to hang out with friends." i thought it was nice what she was trying to say here.
3-I really liked the authors details in the story you could really keep tract in the essay and understand everything.I also really loved her intro i thought it really grabbed the reader in and makes you want to know what the essay was about.
4-have you considered trying to add more similarties about the two things you value or even trying to add more activities with your friend.
1) Erica is saying that she values both her friends and iphone with passion and that she vlaues memories more than materialtistic items.
ReplyDelete2)I think you best described the experience of getting your Iphone. I could visualize everything you mentioned. It was a good thing you waited so you could get a better version of it. :)
3) One of this essay's streaght is describing the way you felt about your iphone. Another would be your introduction to get us thinking about what we value and what you value.
4) idk maybe try some creative vocabulary:0 lol Over all I thought this essay was really good and GOOD JOB GIRLIE