Monday, March 11, 2013

The Driving Test

1. I would want the reader to be entertained
2. I think the dialogue worked well
3. I Didnt finish My story yet so it is not really consistent
4. What should I add to it to make it more detailed?

The Driving Test
Few things actually excite a teenager, one of these few are learning how to drive. I think every kid dreams of being behind the wheel and when it finally comes time to learn we are more than eager. Some compare it to learning how to ride a bike, and of course those are normally the kids that catch on remarkably quick. No falls or scraped knees, and then there are those who have many and take a trip down to the Emergency room requiring stitches. These very clumsy individuals, like Jessica, eventually grow up and need to learn how to drive.
Jessica wanted to go driving more than a chubby kid wants cake. She was in absolute desperation. Even to just swerve around in an abandoned parking lot seemed thrilling. jessica always begged her mom or dad to just take her down to the parking lot amdndrive around. Jessicas mom was getting really annoyed with the constant asking and it was gonna be her sixteenth birthday in just a week so her mom decided to bring her.
The day finally rolled around that she turned 16 and now nothing stood in her way, she had just received her permit.
Mistaking the gas for the breaks half of the ride which caused her instructor to put on the hazard lights for the rest of the drive. The instructor wasnt to thrilled with her driving skills and told jessica that she needed alot more practice to be able to get her license.
when jessica went home after her disappointing driving class, her dad wanted to take jessica out to practice driving. which was a big mistake on his part. As jessica started to pull out she hits the gas pedal a little bit to hard and knocks out the rear view mirror. Her fathers runs out of the car screaming "WHAT DID YOU JUST DO!" As jessica sees the mirror hanging down from the car her jaw drops. Her dad gets back in the car "I' m not mad at you....you just have to pay for a new mirror" her dad says with anger "now lets drive, make sure to go SLOW."  
Following closely behind the car was Ms. Priss, Jessica’s future step mother walking to get the mail. As Jessica shifted the gear to drive she acidentally shifted in reverse.
“What had I just hit?” And to her horror she looked back to find Cruella sprawled out on the garage floor.
After a brief inner conflict of whether or not she should get out of the car or just drive away Jessica came out to Ann writhing on the ground clasping her ankle that was “broken”. If the woman hadn’t been wearing her four inch heels the fall wouldn’t have been as drastic. It was as if she were wearing stilts.
“Are you alright” Jessica asked as she approached her which sounded quite casual considering the situation.
“Of course I’m not okay! You just backed your father’s car into me and nearly killed me!” She shrieked at such a high pitch that I’m surprised every bird in a 10 mile radius wasn’t summoned. “My poor Shoes!” Jessica’s attention was redirected to her shoes with a removed heel. What a bummer. “And this skirt is VINTAGE!” What does that even mean? With a final scream of anguish she laid on her back as the tears streamed down her face.
“I am so sorry” Jessica said with sarcasm, though this was the normal tone that she used with Ann because she never picked up on the sarcasm.

Ann’s poor starbucks was sent everywhere from her spastic fall. “What a shame” she thought feeling worst about wasting a perfectly good cup of coffee than running over her future mother in law, which at the mention of this title she normally cringed. Today she just laughed at the thought of it.
Looking down at her hands to see the damage. The first thing that came to her mind after being hit by a Toyota was whether she had broken a nail or not. This woman is unbelievable.
She was whisked away by my father all lovingly.
All that was left was her “Louie’s” that laid shattered, post war on the ground and Jessica that had been forgotten.
……Whoops
From their sympathy and 2 failed driving tests later, the DMV had finally granted Jessica her license, no thanks to Ann.

1 comment:

  1. 1. The conflict of the story is that Jessica really wanted her drivers license but she is a terrible driver and she ends up hitting her step mom who she hates. The conflict is resolved by her finally getting her license after 2 failed ones

    2. At the beginning Jessica was very begging for her license and then she realized it was hard work to earn it. she then becomes very sarcastic towards the end to her step mom. At the end she is thankful for her license.
    3. My favorite part of the story was when she hit her step-mom with her car and she was sprawled out in the ground. I thought it was hilarious.
    4. The storys best quality was the plot because of the way she earns her license.
    5. The theme is to work hard for what you want and Teenage drama.
    6. Maybe more dialog ? idk but this story was really good and funny

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